


Agreement

by thegreatandpowerfultoaster



Series: Found Family [5]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Communication, Dysphoria, F/F, Fluff, but only a little this time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-28
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2019-09-01 16:15:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16768552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreatandpowerfultoaster/pseuds/thegreatandpowerfultoaster
Summary: Shepard and Miranda finally manage to sit down and talk.





	Agreement

**Author's Note:**

> Just in case this makes no sense to you, this is part of a series in chronological order!! Hope you enjoy my attempts at slow burn.

In her quarters she's restless, pacing back and forth, but nothing's helping. She needs a cold, cold shower and then a bitter cup of coffee and then maybe she won't feel as angry.

Probably not, but it's worth a try.

Halfway through her shower her door pings, someone asking for entry and in response her bottle of shampoo is thrown across the room, thankfully missing anything important. "What?"

There's no answer, so she tries again. "Who is it?"

The shower is shut off and she steps out, dressing as fast as she can manage before peeking out into the hallway. No one. 

Fuck that then, she guesses. Whatever-Whoever it was, she is decidedly not in the mood to deal with them. 

Screaming into a pillow is just as much help as the shower. That is to say, no help at all. But then the door pings again, and she can't help but look angry as she answers the door. 

Tali leans against the elevator, arms folded casually across her chest, and Garrus gives her what she's learned is a concerned look, and he throws a thumb over his shoulder. "We ah-We can come back if now isn't a good time."

Shepard manages a shake of her head, and tries to soften her expression. "Nope, lay it on me." She's just not getting a break anytime soon. That's fine, when has she ever gotten a break?

( _When she was dead,_ her mind helpfully supplies. _That was nice, for the most part_.)

Suddenly her mouth is full of the salty taste of blood, ( _was she biting her lip again?_ ) and she's getting the urge to be screaming into the pillow again. Everything that's wrong with her is just magnified at times like this, and she hopes its not as obvious in the outside as it is in the inside.

Damn, why'd she have to think about it again.

Garrus still manages to look unsure, and that doesn't help her believe that it isn't. "There's something wrong with Miranda-"

God, no. Sweet, holy Maker, fuck no. The curses continue as she asks, "How so?" Through gritted teeth. She had walked off this time, she reminds herself. Miranda had wanted to talk, and this time Shepard had been the one to walk out.

It didn't matter that there was nothing there, and that apologies was all she was going to get. 

"She said some pretty mean things to Grunt. And I'm not super well versed in human idioms, but I'm pretty sure it was more than a little inappropriate."

That makes her a little angry, but at the same time satisfied , because she isn't the only one not dealing with her feelings well. But Grunt is dear to her, so mostly upset.

If that's what the stupid universe is going to do to just make her talk to fucking Lawson, then fine. She'll talk to Miranda. And then she'll beat the Collectors, and then one way or another Shepard will be done, with everything. She won't have to feel like a stranger in her own body, or wonder why she manages to be attracted to the most difficult woman in the universe.

"I'll talk to her," she smiles at Garrus, giving a nod. "Catch up with you two later, then."

She peeks her head into Miranda's office. 

"Hey, asshat we're gonna talk. Neither of us want to, but unless you want your head bashed in by a two-week-old Krogan, or you to have to rebuild a less messed up...me, I guess we're both gonna have to something we don't want to."

Lawson barely looks up at her before turning back to one of the datapad's on her desk. "That isn't what you were telling me he an hour ago. And are you admitting you have a problem?"

Shepard winces. "I'm not admitting to anything. And yeah, but you seem to be taking not talking as well as I'm managing it, " she walks in, then and sits at her desk. 

"Is this going to dissolve into another argument?"

"No." She doesn't know. Probably. Can they manage a conversation without ending it badly? Lately it seems impossible.

But even though Shepard is doubtful, but Miranda sets down her datapad, crosses her legs and looks boredly up at her. "Then talk, I'm listening."

"What did you say to Grunt? "

She flushed a bright red, and when she does speak it's rather quietly. "It doesn't matter. I was angry, I didn't mean it. In fact, I already apologized to him and he just laughed at me."

That sounded like Grunt, of course. If he was willing to forgive it then she would too. "Okay. I'm sorry I ran away. Would you like to know why?"

Miranda only nods, but it's more than enough to spur her on. "You make me so, so nervous. And kind of angry, sometimes. And I can't stop thinking about kissing you. And..." She fidgets with the cuff of her sleeve. " I think I like you. I _do_ like you. But I'm in kind of a bad place right now. "

It was hard to explain, if course. Not the physical and mental parts of it, though it was nearly undeniable that Miranda knew the risks of getting attached to anyone in this mission just as well (it not wholly better) as she did. 

"I like you too, Shepard." The words come as a shock, not even registering in her brain until a second for two kater. Miranda doesn't give her time to think about that it respind. "But I really think I can help you with anything. I'm a doctor, aren't I? I _want_ to help you."

Shepards heart misses a beat. "I don't think that s a good idea. It's not really...something you can fix. "

Its something Miranda seems to consider for a moment, but she had been adamant on the no arguing point so far. So she just seems to suck in a deep breath, and reach her hand out. "Alright...Alright, then. I'm just...I worry about you, Jane. I didn't mean to walk out in you like that the other night. You weren't doing well, and I thought it best -"

" I know. It's probably for the best. "

Then, silence. Her heart begins to beat a bit faster, before it stead ies with her even breathing. "I'm so sick of what's best," Miranda sighs and let's her hands fall into her hands. " I just need something to be simple for once, you know? Not life and death. So you ever feel like that?"

Her mouth manages to work faster than her brain. "We're due for some shore leave, aren't we? Let's go to the Citadel, let's go on a date or something."

Oh, yeah that's right. She likes Miranda Lawson and Miranda Lawson likes Jane shepard. And she really meant that she wasn't in the best place for any of this mentally or physically, but she's selfish, and if some of her fears can be quieted in the process of having something she really wants then good.

She recived a half smile. "I'd like that, and I'm sure some time off for everyone would be helpful. No more arguing or running away? "

"No more arguing or running away," she agrees solemly. "And no more insulting my son."

That both laugh, and while Shepard feels far from _herself_ still, some things just feel right now.


End file.
